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Welcome, Grown Daughters With Problem Mothers!


Are you a grown woman with a lifelong frustrating, difficult or abusive relationship with your mother?   If so, you are not alone! Many mother/daughter relationships are not what they should be.

Many women have grown up physically and/or emotionally and/or even sexually abused by the one person everyone should be able to trust- their mothers.   For many women, the effects of the abuse (and often the abuse itself) continue into their adult years, leading to trouble with self-esteem, ability to trust, intimacy issues, poor choices or even addictions.

A lot of women who have experienced this pain continue living in this dysfunction, often blaming their mothers for how their lives have turned out, well into their adult years.  Many also continue the cycle of abuse with their own children.

There are other women, however, who realize that although their experiences explain why they the way they are, that is no reason to stay in that dysfunction.  They realize they are damaged from the abuse they have suffered, and do not want to continue to function in that state.  They want to improve themselves.  They also wish to do their best to survive the still demanding, trying relationship with their mothers.   If that describes you, then this website is for you!

While I provide information on various types of abusive mothers, I focus the most on mothers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.   Both of my parents have this disorder.

***Before you read further, I want you to be aware that although I have included a lot of information on this site, I am NOT a mental health professional. What I am is someone who has a great deal of experience with a dysfunctional mother/daughter relationship.   If you wish to read more about me, you can read some at this link: My Personal Experience, or, read my book, "Emerging From The Chrysalis" for a more in depth version.   I hope and pray that the information I have included on this site and my story will help you!***

If you are uncertain if you were abused as a child, below are some signs many abuse victims exhibit as adults:

    • Do you have many "blank spots" when you remember your childhood? (In other words, periods of time which you cannot remember any details)

    • Do you have trouble with anger, anxiety or depression?   Have you had an eating disorder?  Do you self-injure?   Do you have gastrointestinal problems?   Aches or pains with no known physical cause?

    • Do you have trouble in relationships, such as a lack of trust, inability to communicate well and problems with intimacy?

    • Do you have problems identifying, managing and/or expressing your feelings?

    • Do you feel numb around your mother? Or, have you and your mother stopped speaking to each other, and now you find yourself feeling things you cannot describe? Click this link for further information: Survival Mode

    • Do you have flashbacks?  Are you depressed or anxious?  Do certain sights, sounds or scents trigger either flashbacks or bad memories?  You may be suffering from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder- a common problem for child abuse survivors.  

    • Read the Types Of Abuse And Coping Tips page. If any of the information on those types of abuse sounds familiar, that is another very good sign you were abused.

If you are considering ending the dysfunctional, abusive relationship with your mother, then read Should I Cut Ties With My Abusive Mother?

Has your abusive mother died, or is her health failing?   Losing one's mother is a terribly painful event.   Losing one's abusive mother is much more complicated.   For more information on this topic, read When Your Abuser Dies


When your mother has been cruel and abusive to you, did your father refuse to stop her behavior?   If so, read The Unavailable Father


If you are a mother with a difficult or even abusive daughter, reading through some of the types of abuse and coping tips may help you as well. Coping with an abusive person often involves the same type of actions, whether the abuser is a parent or child.   I write more about abusive mothers than children, because that is where my experience lies.

If you are here looking for help in your healing journey, this site may help you, too.   I want you to know that not everyone is simply delivered from all of the problems that result from being abused.  Most of us have to walk out the journey for our entire life.   There is nothing wrong with you if God hasn't set you free or you aren't further along in healing- it simply means you are like the majority of survivors.   I have been working on my own healing since the year 2000, and continue to work on healing.

Do you know someone who exhibits symptoms of someone who was abused as a child, or has a very challenging, even abusive, relationship with her mother as an adult?  If so, then click here for some helpful advice for you.

Questions? Comments? Feel free to email me at CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com

Please feel free to look around this site. May you learn how to handle your situation better, and be blessed! 

**This information was NOT compiled by people in the field of psychology. It was inspired by my personal experience, and from talking with friends with abusive mothers. Professional advice may be much more helpful to you, as it will be more personalized to your unique situation than this site can be. If you cannot afford to visit a therapist, then check with your local county's mental health department or local churches. Many offer counseling for free or that charges on a sliding scale.**

**Also, as I am a Christian, this site naturally has some information about my faith on it. However, I do NOT believe in forcing my faith on others. If you do not share my faith, please do not give up on this site- much of this information can help you, no matter what your religious beliefs, even those of you who have been hurt by so-called "religious" people.**



© 2018  Cynthia Bailey-Rug and www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com.  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.  Excerpts and links may be used, provided that the full and clear credit is given to Cynthia Bailey-Rug and www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.