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The Jealous Mother

Jealous mothers may sound relatively harmless, but their behavior can be devastating to their daughters.  The jealous mother is competitive, critical and petty.  She hurts her daughter with these behaviors by belittling her, insulting her and basically making her feel like something is very wrong with her.  The root of these behaviors is the mother's own insecurity.  She feels her daughter is prettier, smarter, more successful, popular, etc. than she is, and in order to cope, she tears down her daughter by trivializing her accomplishments and insulting the wonderful woman she is.  The mother believes it builds her up to tear down her daughter.   Many jealous mothers have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

If this describes your mother, then you are not alone.  Many mothers are jealous of their daughters.  The good news is there are ways to deal with their hurtful behavior.

Keep your conversations with your mother superficial and not about you.  The less information she knows about you, the less she has to criticize and belittle.  Focus instead on her, the weather, whatever you want to discuss- anything but yourself.  You will feel less stress that way.

You also may find it best to limit your exposure to your mother.  Keeping her at arm's length may be best for your own mental health.  If she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you may feel it best to sever ties with her.  Please see the following page before making any decisions :  Should I Go No Contact With My Abusive Mother?



Some jealous mothers are especially critical when alone with their daughter verses when others are around.  If that describes your mother, then try not to be alone with her whenever possible.

The jealous mother is challenging at best, but even so, you can deal with her in a way that is respectful, yet protects your own mental health.  You can do this!

On the road to recovery, I personally found my relationship with God to be my greatest help. He helped me to heal, and to learn ways to deal with my dysfunctional mother. Prayer and meditating on His word, the Bible, helped so much. Learning who the Bible says I am as a child of God is not only inspiring and comforting, but helpful in the healing process. If you do not have a personal relationship with God, please read the page Salvation Through Jesus Christ for more information.



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