Below is the result of an idea in my Facebook group. The members thought (and I agreed) that it could be therapeutic to compile a list of things said by abusive narcissistic parents, siblings, spouses and children. This list is to let those of you reading this to realize you are NOT alone – there are others who understand what you have experienced because we have been there too. It’s also helpful when you realize that your parent wasn’t the only one like this. There are others who understand your pain!
If you know anything about gaslighting and invalidation, no doubt you will recognize both in these phrases.
- “You need help.”
- “Why are you always so angry?”
- “What’s wrong with you?!”
- “You have your father’s/mother’s temper.”
- “You’re just like your father/mother/etc.”
- “You’re going to hell for the way you treat me!”
- “You are so selfish!”
- “You are too sensitive/serious.”
- “You’re crazy!”
- “You’re the only person I know who would be upset by that!”
- “You’re making a big deal about nothing.”
- “You owe me/Mom/Dad/etc.”
- “I was just joking!”
- “You don’t know how to take a joke.”
- “Are you ever going to forget about that?”/“Are you ever going to let that go?”
- “I never said/did that.”
- “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
- “This is all your fault!”
- “You made me do that!”