The memes are this page are devoid of all humor. They can be triggering and upsetting to those who have survived similar abusive situations. They are also excellent teaching tools, however, which is why they are here. I believe they show the subtle ways narcissists and their flying monkeys work.
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Memes Courtesy Of My Parents
I admit, my assessments of these items seems very harsh, but I can tell you that I am absolutely certain they are accurate. After a lifetime of dealing with not only my parents but plenty of other narcissists, I have learned a LOT about how they think.
Keep in mind that my mother and I never spoke again after the big argument I had with my parents on May 5, 2016. She continued to send birthday and anniversary cards to my husband and I, even though we did not respond.
This is what was on the inside of my mother’s birthday card to my husband in October, 2018.
My father gave me his Bible in the late 1990’s to place in his coffin when he died. In 2017, he died, and I knew I needed to keep that promise in spite of being no contact with him at the time. What I didn’t expect was when I opened the Bible for the first time, to find he had kept notes about the abuse my mother perpetrated on me and the terrible things she told him about me. I read them for the first time on the day of his funeral. Below are his actual notes, in his handwriting, followed by me typing them out (since his writing is a bit hard to read when it was scanned) along with some of my comments.
Sharing this isn’t easy, because I don’t want anyone (in particular, the flying monkeys who were so awful to me as my father was dying) to make assumptions. This is not about me trying to make excuses for being no contact or ruin my parents’ reputations. I simply am using this as a learning tool. It shows many good examples of gaslighting and verbal abuse.
My father’s notes, part 1
My father’s notes, part 2
My father’s notes, part 3
This is a great lesson in flying monkey tactics, courtesy of my mother and her attorney, shortly after my father’s passing in 2017.
When my mother in-law died, my mother sent my father in-law a sympathy card with this note inside. I should have suspected this would happen. My parents were very impressed with my in-laws’ “big happy family” facade, and wanted to be in their good graces. Naturally my mother would think this was a good time to gain my father in-law’s favor, when he was in a weakened state emotionally.
When my mother died, I called my favorite cousin immediately. During the course of the conversation, he mentioned that my mother sent his mother some money each month. Why and for how long, I have no idea. Since my aunt was horrible to me not to mention expected to be bailed out of her poor financial decisions, I told him there was no way I would continue what my mother was doing. I figured that she would contact me somehow to attempt to get me to send her money. This is what she sent one month after my mother’s death.
In 1985, my mother stopped speaking to her mother for a few years. She didn’t contact her mother during that time, but her mother would call her every New Year’s day and send cards on some special days. She didn’t respect my mother’s boundary when she said she wanted nothing more to do with her mother, which she showed by that annual call and sending cards.
My grandmother wrote this letter not long before she and my mother began speaking again, and I believe it can be an excellent example of a narcissistic parent’s attempt to hoover their child back into the dysfunctional relationship . Notice the wording. She is exceptionally subtle in this, but her character (or lack thereof) is still quite clear. My grandmother speaks almost entirely about herself in this letter. She also acts like all is fine, and their relationship had ended. She offers no apologies, and says nothing like, “I miss you… can we talk about this?” In fact, I feel like this letter shows yet again her disregard for my mother’s desire for them not to have a relationship. She was truly a narcissist, and had absolutely no love or respect for my mother.
Here are some typical things narcissists say and what they really mean…
There are plenty of differences between a real apology and a narcissist’s apology. Here is some information to show you the differences.
Ever wonder what the flying monkeys really mean? Here are translations of some of their common phrases..
All narcissistic parents work hard to make their children believe harmful things. These are some examples.
From time to time, we all need a little reminder that we too have rights…
Writing can help bring clarity to a situation like nothing else. Feel free to print this image and fill it out. It can help you to see why the things your narcissistic parents told you were wrong. Admittedly this may not seem funny at all… however, when you start really thinking about the outrageous things your narcissistic parent said about you, it may start to strike you a bit funny. It did me. Some of the things my mother has accused me of are so outrageous, they are actually funny. Yes, they hurt terribly at the time she said them, but after learning about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I had to laugh at the insanity of the comments. I hope you can too. If you can’t, then I hope you can see why the statements said about you were completely inaccurate!