No matter how long you’ve had C-PTSD, PTSD, anxiety or depression, you are still going to have bad days sometimes. Dr. Karyl McBride, author of the wonderful book about narcissistic mothers called, “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” refers to these days as a collapse. Collapse is a very good way to describe how those bad days feel! Pain, depression, self-pity, anger and other emotions feel like they’re taking over, with no end in sight. You may cry or vent a lot.
These days happen when something reminds you of old wounds, such as when someone says something hurtful that is similar to what your narcissistic mother has said, or even if you have a flashback.
Bad days can feel extremely discouraging. They can make you feel as if you’re weak, a failure, or even that you should give up hope of ever healing from narcissistic abuse. The thing is, though, that those feelings are wrong! You are still strong, you are no failure, and you are going to heal! One bad day (or even a few bad days) does not mean all the progress you have made is in vain. The simple fact is that emotional healing is never a simple, uphill journey. It is more of an uphill journey with periodic trips into valleys, detours off the main path, and periodical stalling. These bad days are simply those trips, detours and stalls, nothing more.
When you have a bad day, do not beat yourself up! Everyone who has survived narcissistic abuse has those bad days sometimes – it is normal! Instead of beating yourself up, how about validating yourself instead? Remind yourself that days like this are normal, especially considering all that you have experienced. You are fine! You are healing, and you should be proud of yourself for persevering in healing because it is NOT an easy road to travel!
Also go to God, and ask Him to comfort you. He gladly will do so, and His comfort is better than any human’s can be.
Do not forget to be good to yourself. Pamper and nurture yourself in whatever ways help you to feel better.
Be gentle, compassionate, and understanding with yourself when you have a bad day. You deserve it!!